My personal journey started on the 5th September 2013 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
My internal “make over” began just prior to my cancer diagnoses. A redundancy in my job in June and my family relationships were in turmoil. I didn’t love myself and I wasn’t living my truth and it was debilitating on all levels of my life.
When I was diagnosed on that day in spring, I sat in the doctor’s chamber reflecting and thinking I have manifested breast cancer through negative thoughts, stress, anxiety and depression in my body, mind and spirit. Dis-ease branded across my forehead was an awkward reminder that I needed to change my life.
When you are presented such a big wakeup call you stop and listen! My life was automatically thrust into an intensive self-healing journey. It was vital to re-evaluate my whole life and so I did for the next following year.
I spent time in nature, I undertook self-analysis, deep inner reflection and journal writing, letters to loved ones, self-esteem workshops, holistic therapies and I learnt to accept, forgive myself and others. I let go of past regrets and guilt and hidden truths and resolved inner sadness. I was taking personal responsibility, examining and releasing bad habits that no longer served me. I was forming new rules to live by and leaving my painful past behind. At times I felt like I was shedding skin like a re- born snake.
Through deep reflection, I created my own life plan and new pathway on how I would live my life and I discovered in the process my “life purpose”. Through positive energy work, daily affirmations, pray and regular meditation practice my reality unfolded and the “fog” that was my life was finally lifting. I discovered stillness of the mind through meditation, my mind was finally quiet, and my inner emotions subsiding like ice melting in the snow. In the early stages of stillness &/meditation I felt like a weakened windswept tree, my legs ached and numbness & tingling waved all over my body, an aching heart and salty tears surrounded me during many of my sittings.
I had so many people assist me on this climb and for the very first time I “asked for help”. The compassion and kindness from practioners and the self determination of my own spirit made my life easier during this challenging life transition. I will always be so grateful for their comforting support and guidance and for being able to regain my life back.
I had a mastectomy on my right breast on the 1st April 2014 (April fool’s Day!!! I am sure there is a hidden message) and it all went smoothly, so now my forecast is to live life to the fullest. I am the happiest I have ever been and my mind and body are living in peace & harmony. My cancer road was a demanding reminder that I needed to remember “who I was” and live my life on purpose. I announce joyously that I am now a willing warrior of breast cancer.
I am planning a trip overseas to celebrate my greatness and the love of myself. I will change my career and plan to study to become a Transpersonal Art Therapist to empower, teach and help others.
My new Motto: “I dreamed a thousand paths; I woke and walked my own”
In an elegant crystal vase sitting gracefully on a table I observed the petals of a tightly budded rose unfold. I could see myself as the bud, many hidden talents and inner resources; my own petals were unfolding into gems of outward wisdom.